Our New I.D. In Christ - Our Real Self Image (Part 2)

~~In Search Of A "Proper" Self-Image~~
Who We Are "In Christ"
In Search Of Our Identity (Part 2)
Questions Answered

How To Develop A "Proper" Self-Image

To develop a "proper" self-image, we must first decide to whom we are going to listen. Are we going to listen to satan and the world? Or are we going to listen to God and His Word? As we have already seen, satan and "the world" are in direct opposition to God and His Word concerning how we should think about ourselves. Unfortunately, we live in the world and are constantly bombarded by the almost endless philosophies of the world. So let's examine some of the ways the "world" tells us to determine our self-image and then compare them with what God has to say.

#1 - Appearance

How we look is one gauge we use to determine our self-image. Most commonly, if you notice yourself and those around you, if we think of ourselves as very pretty or handsome, we tend to have an "acceptable" self-image because of...what? Many people will "accept" us into their social circles because physical beauty is a desirable trait among people. Many people even worship physical beauty... Yes. Even today.

If we think of ourselves as physically "ugly", our self-image could suffer greatly. We will probably tend to consider ourselves as "undesirable"..."unwanted"... Mostly we will be shown by the world that we are not "acceptable" to it, and thus, we'll tend to think quite a bit "less" of ourselves as the result of this "shunning".

If we are physically pretty or handsome, what will happen to our self-image as we grow older and our looks change, or if we are in some kind of accident that alters our appearance in some fashion? Generally, we'll tend to think "less" of ourselves because the world around us will make clear that we are not who we once were, physically. The world will treat us with less popularity... less respect (which it never really had for us)... in general, the world will not "accept" us as it once did. Our "self-image" will suffer greatly as we will feel of less worth, we'll feel "diminished" in some capacity, and some will even feel "worthless". As you can see, a "culture" can greatly affect the way we see ourselves.

Usually, Mom and Dad start by saying such things as, " You are such a beautiful little girl," or "You are such a fine-looking young man." Friends, and even complete strangers can "echo" these same sentiments... In today's time, it's not uncommon for a young man to walk up to a lady and say, "Babe... You are so hot!", indicating that upon physical appearance alone, he has found someone "desirable"... And more times than not, the young lady will feel "special" in that she was able to gain his immediate acceptance... What a total, simple-minded fallacy of the enemy!

From the illustrations above, it may be easy to develop a "good" self-image, but we must realize that the opinions of Mom, Dad, friends and even strangers can change in time. Even after we have personally decided we are handsome or pretty, our very own opinion could, and will, one day change. It is inevitable.

So, could we ever develop a "secure" self-image or identity based on our "appearance"? I submit to you, absolutely not.

Psalms 139:13-14 "13 For you created my in most being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

According to these verses, God made you and I the way we are. Since God made us who we are, it does not make sense to build a self-image based on what others say/think about us that are of the world. It really does not even matter what we say about ourselves if we do not know the "Real Truth" about who God says we are.

Another thing many of us use to determine our identity is "what we do". In other words, our "abilities": I'm a businessman, a housewife, or an athlete, for example. Self-image based on what we do, however, is dependent on how well we perform:

If I was a businessman, and my business did very well, I could smile and feel confident in that I am an "accomplishment" when in the midst of friends, or even alone with myself. But, if my business was a failure, my "identity" would be somewhat different. I may lack self worth, feel inadequate, embarrassed... I would feel like a failure in many ways... And my "circle of friends" would probably reflect that in the area of "acceptance"... To people tend to remain your friend even when you have been "less than satisfactory" in areas of your life? The answer to this can be very revealing when determining friends.

What if I were a Dad and my kids turned out to be pillars of the community... Leaders in every respect... What would people think of me? What if I were a Dad and my kids turned out to be "drug-addicts"? What would people think of me then? See what I mean? The very thing that determines whether we are successes or failures are the people around us!

Our abilities to perform any certain function/task always changes over a period of time. For example, is a 45 year old athlete able to perform the way they did at age 25? Of course not. So, concerning the people around us, we can pretty much figure that their "opinions" of us will constantly "change" with relation to how we "perform, or "measure up" in their eyes.

When we look at ourselves, do we ever "compare" ourselves to others? Most people do. When we do that, we usually don't have to look very hard to find someone that is "better" at doing a specific task than we are. When we compare ourselves to them, our self-image always suffers. Most times we don't "measure up" to another's standards. But, on the other hand, sometimes we feel we are "THE BEST" at what we do, and being "THE BEST" has certain extra rights and privileges... Right?

2 Corinthians 10:12 "12We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise"

According to this verse, it is not wise at all to compare our own self to others. If we do compare ourselves to others, there are only two conclusions we can come to understand: We are either "BETTER" than those with which we compare, or we are "WORSE" than those with which we compare ourselves. So, knowing this, it definitely does not make sense to build your self-image on your abilities as a person.

There are many other ways we try to determine our self-image based on the philosophies of the world (for example, family relationships, friends, denominational affiliation). Basically, however, all these standards gauge self-image by:

• ~What others think about you;
• ~What you think others think about you;
• ~What you think about yourself.
  

And this brings us to the problem of listening to the world's opinions in regard to who we are. The world's opinions are constantly changing from moment to moment. It is impossible to find any stability or security in what the world says concerning our identity.

If we have a poor self-image based on the opinions of the world, we will experience defeatism and be null and void of the knowledge of The Truth about who we are, and we will be rendered "ineffective", pertaining to the plan God already has for our lives.

1 John 2:16-17 says, "16For everything in the world‚ the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does‚ comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

Mentioned above in scripture, some of the things of this world are:

• ~~Man having cravings for sin;
• ~~His eyes are lustful;

Man brags about what he has, and what he has done. It is also pointing out that these things are NOT from our Father, God. So guess who fathers such things as these? That's right. The enemy ; saTan.

As mentioned in the scripture above, this world and it's desires will pass away... cease to exist. So, can a person ever have a secure identity if he/she is dependent on the things of this world to determine who he/she is? No...no... No. We can only determine from the scripture above that it is more important to see ourselves from God's Perspective, rather than the world's false assumption of who we are.

We do not need a self-image based on the ever-changing opinions of the world. We need a proper self-image, an identity based on Truth from God's Perspective. Since God created us and knows us better than we know ourselves, it makes perfect sense to begin listening to what God says about us.

You are not who you are because of your own or others' opinions. You are who you are because of what God says about you! When we begin listening to God, we can rest assured that what He says will not be like the ever-changing opinions of the world:

"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of The Lord stands forever" (1 Peter 1:24-25).

Next Up? "A New Identity"

In Search Of Our Identity In Christ (Part 1)

Who We Are "In Christ"

In Search Of Our Identity (Part 1)

Questions Answered

The issue of identity is inescapable and central to our lives. "Who am I?" we all ask. "Where did I come from? Where am I going?" Every person wrestles with these questions, and the answers we adopt determine the direction of our lives.

Today, this search for identity falls under the concept of "self-image". Every person has a "self-image" of himself. It could be a healthy, positive image, or it could be a poor, negative one. Regardless, a person's self-image determines his self-worth in this life, whether he/she is a success or failure. Self-image is what affects, for better or worse, a persons attitude and behaviour toward others and life's circumstances. With all that is at stake, it is easy to see why people are in search of a good self-image.

However, there is much debate concerning how to develop a good self-image. Many psychologists, counselors, and even some church leaders believe that to develop a good self-image a person needs to start loving himself more. As we will see, this philosophy is contrary to the teaching of the Word of God.

Paul writes in 2 Timothy 3:2 that in the last days men will be lovers of themselves. According to this verse, our problem is that we love ourselves too much. So it would appear that we cannot develop a good self-image based on learning to love ourselves more. As a matter of fact, we do not need to develop a good self-image at all. We need to develop a realistic view of ourselves, what is called a "proper self-image". We need to learn who we are from God's perspective.

Romans 12:3 says: "3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

This passage is very revealing in a couple of different areas. Paul warns us of a couple of different things that can be detrimental to our ability to live the "Newness Of Life" of which the bible so frequently speaks. He warns us against arrogance, pride and vanity. As you'll find, there is nothing about these things God finds appealing... As a matter of fact, God specifically says He "hates" them!

Paul also reveals the motivation for his warning, and I believe from examining everything Paul ever said, I think this motivation was the same motivation that gave him the drive, will power and great desire/love that was necessary for him to complete all the God-given tasks in his life... It was revealed in the very first part of this passage: It was the "Motivation of Grace" that gave Paul his desire, stamina and the ability to be totally content with his life despite the many hardships he encountered. And there were many hardships in Pauls life.

Pride is what caused satan to be cast from heaven. Pride is what caused Adam to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And pride is what motivates us to think too highly of ourselves. How should we think of ourselves to counteract this attitude of pride? We can look at who we really are and have the guts to recognize what we see.

Truth is, we are a being that is "spiritually dead" without Christ in our hearts, and nothing we could ever do would produce nothing more than a stench in God's nostrils... For ALL have fallen short of the Glory of God... That's the plain Truth. There is nothing within us in the flesh only that could ever be considered "good"... No matter how pretty, no matter how smart, no matter how educated, no matter how gifted in any area, no matter WHAT!

When we think of ourselves with "sober judgment" (the ability to see the reality of who we are), we ar thinking in accordance to what? God's Word, of course. You have to look no further than the scripture above to confirm that."Sober judgment", in comparison to the "modern-day philosophy" that says we should love ourselves more, we find a clear contradiction. Scripture is Truth, so, the "modern-day philosophy" loses out as a clever, but false teaching that does nothing more than lead an individual down a path of failure, as someday, the individual will find there nothing to sustain true "happiness" in false assumptions of their identity.

Godlessness in the Last Days

2 Timothy 3:1-5 "1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them."

In this passage, Paul plainly states the various conditions of man in the last days. I think we can all agree that none of these characteristics could be deemed as things we should have in our own lives. Right? So, is the problem that we hate ourselves or that we love ourselves too much? It would seem, by the scripture above, that we tend to love ourselves too much.In light of these verses, will "loving ourselves" more enable us to develop a "proper self-image"? Absolutely not! So how do we develop a "proper" self-image? That's coming next in:

~ "How To Develop A Proper Self-Image"~